"It's Complicated": How LGBTQ+ Africans use dating apps

While fewer people are using dating apps, meeting online is often the safest — sometimes only — option for LGBTQ+ people in countries where being “out” is a risk to life and limb.

In Africa, 31 countries criminalise same-sex relations and in some places, such as Uganda, punishment can run to the death penalty. 

It’s Complicated, a new podcast episode from Context and Radio Workshop, explores how LGBTQ+ Africans from Zimbabwe, Kenya, Nigeria and Namibia are navigating the risks to find connection. The episode is available to listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube. 

Often it is safer to bypass the big dating apps, such as Grindr, and use private online platforms to find a date.

But even closed groups are far from risk-free.

It’s Complicated starts in Zimbabwe where Tanaka, a trans woman, joined a private Facebook group she thought was safe, only to end up being scammed by her date.

“That incident happened a while back, and it left a mark on me. But not enough to keep me off the apps. It’s like if a car gets into an accident, you don’t stop driving,” said Tanaka.

Context has previously reported on how dating apps are used to entrap LGBTQ+ Africans in Kenya and Nigeria — and how LGBTQ+ users are fighting back. For while the threat is real, LGBTQ+ users also have networks to keep them safe. 

Jonathan, a gay man from Nigeria, was too nervous to try dating apps at home. But when he and his friends went to Ghana on holiday, he wanted to do something new, and signed up for his very first Grindr account.  

“Coming to Accra and like seeing them be so free and so open in all of these conversations, it just felt so much like a community,” said Jonathan. 

This was in 2019, when Ghana was a much less hostile place for LGBTQ+ people and for Jonathan, it was the perfect place to get a crash course on how to use the apps. 

In Kenya, Kenny met someone on the dating app Romeo. 

Kenny’s match was in the public eye, and they began a secret relationship that changed his life forever when it ended. 

In Namibia, a chance encounter on a rainy night brought Whilzahn to social media to pursue her crush, but can an online relationship last offline?  

It’s Complicated explores both the dangers and joys of meeting online, in a region where being LGBTQ+ is ever more risky. 

Available to listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube. 

This content is part of a series supported by Hivos's Free To Be Me programme.

(Reporting by Sadiya Ansari; Editing by Lyndsay Griffiths.)